Life News and Fan Girl Views

As I sit here on the eve of my 30th birthday, all I can think is "good God, how the frick am I thirty already?" Like, seriously?  When did that happen?  It's funny because when I was younger....and all the way into my college years, I thought that thirty sounded so old, and to be quite honest, I do not feel all that different from when I turned twenty-two.  I mean, yeah, my knees creak a little more than they used to, and ok, so I can't stay up nearly as late as I used to, but physically, I don't feel all that much older.  So for me, birthdays past my 21st really have never been a huge deal because I've never felt that I was "growing up".  It's always just been another year to me, and maybe that's because when I was younger, you never really heard of people making a big deal about turning thirty.  With that said, I started to notice this trend as I've gotten older that started with people around my cousin's age (she's four years ...

        Oh Captain, my captain, the pirates have won.  Tonight, we raise the black for the final time.  While the series finale of Black Sails  has not yet aired (t-minus 5 hours and 42 minutes), I have no doubt in my mind that it will be stunningly beautiful and heartbreakingly moving, because that is what this show does.  When Black Sails first came to air, Game of Thrones  already had two seasons under it's belt and so it was impossible for fans and critics not to draw comparisons between the two, calling it a combination of   Pirates of the Caribbean  meets Game of Thrones .  And while I suppose that is an easy explanation for those who have never seen the show, it is an incredible disservice to such poignantly written and crafted show.  The creators, writers, and directors have taken a world in which humanity has been brought up to know as ignoble thieving, violent, law-breakers who deserve death and imprisonment, an...

Obviously I have commitment issues when it comes to my writing.  But I find it's because I feel like I don't have anything interesting to say.  Well all that's about to change.  I've found direction.  For the past year, I've been focusing on myself and things that have been going on in my life, and instead of putting out further negativity in the world, I decided on a self inflicted hiatus.  But I'm back. And so excited to get back to it.  So, if you're still with me (or just joining me), stay tuned.  Because this will be a total revamp. -Melissa

A week ago Thursday I concluded my tenure as the head coach and cheerleading coordinator for my high school.   Coming face to face with the ending of something you love and have nurtured for ten years tends to cause a myriad of emotions: sadness, ecstasy, bittersweetness, terror.  But what I never expected was a feeling of complete calming peace.  I was surprised and shocked at this revelation because to be quite honest I wasn't sure how I would take my retirement.  I have put my heart and soul into that program and it has been my world for the past ten years, even though it hasn't always been easy.  At our end of season banquet, I gave my final speech with advice and life lessons that I have learned...lessons that I wanted to share in an ever changing society that demands our seclusion from people in an attempt to cage us in social media...and yes I see the irony.  There is so much that I wanted to say to those girls, and so much that I still wish to say,...

There's a quote that says "the cure for anything is saltwater: sweat, tears, or the sea."  My mind, body, and soul are simply too exhausted for the first one, and while my heart and soul belong to the sea, I live nowhere near it.  I suppose that means the cure for today will have to be tears.  Complete heart wrenching, body shaking sobs that make me unable to breathe.  And I can't give you a reason other than I feel like I'm unraveling.  Clearly it seems that this has become the place for me to put down everything that I keep bottled up until it boils over.  I just feel like I have no fucking idea what I'm doing with my life.  I'm exhausted because I'm up at ungodly hours for my job and I'm to the point where I feel like I second guess every decision I make because I'm afraid I'm going to get in trouble or fired for something minute. I feel like a fucking failure because I'm 28 and still have no clue what I want to do with my life othe...

Eight months is a long time to be away.  I've never liked making resolutions.  Resolutions means that you are aiming to resolve something wrong with you and there is nothing wrong with you.  So instead, I've decided to make new goals this year.  The past year and a half, I've been striving to make my life the happiest and healthiest I've ever been.  I did really well for a year, but I was focused on only the physical aspect.  What I have failed to realize is that mental health is just as important.  I've never been one to show my emotions or feelings.  It makes me feel uncomfortable so I've always "suffered in silence" if you will.  Even typing this now is hard on me.  I think it's because I never want to burden anyone and my problems always seem so small in comparison to other people.  So I've always pushed my feelings and thoughts aside and suppressed what I was feeling and tell myself that it didn't happen or I'm making a big de...

I've been on a two month hiatus because I have felt like I'm going through a quarter-life crisis. When I was younger, I never thought that I would be where I currently am in life, and it has caused me to have a bit of a meltdown.  When I was younger, I always thought I'd meet my husband in college (which I honestly thought I had), figure out my career, date said husband for 2 years, graduate college, be engaged for a year, get married at 24 (because that always seemed super old), have kids at 26, and still maintaining my career....but in all that planning, I never seemed to look past the having kids part, because I never really thought about being older than that.  Not in like a morbid way that I thought I would die, I just never looked past my immediate "goals" that I had.  Now that I'm past everyone of those goals and none of them have come to pass, I have been having a bit of an identity crisis and am constantly asking myself "What the hell am I doing...

With Valentine's Day being yesterday, and his birthday this past Monday, I want to take a moment to talk about my dad.  It is said that the first man a little girl falls in love with is her daddy, and I find this couldn't be more true.  If you ever get the chance to know my dad, then consider yourself lucky, and if you don't, well then, you're missing out.   I know a lot of people say that growing up, they could tell their parents anything, and while I do find that to be somewhat true, for me it was always different.  Most people could go to their mom first, but for me, I seemed to always go to my dad first and I think that is because my dad and I are so similar, that I always felt he would understand where I was coming from. I mean, obviously any girly advice, I would go straight to mama, but any big scared-shitless moments such as getting in trouble or being afraid of letting my parents down, or even taking big chances, I would always go to him first.  ...

What do you do when you have a huge decision to make and you've already made up your mind, and had it made up for months, but then that changes and you're back to square one?  I've been having a lot of trouble this week with this decision that I must make, and I was excited that I had finally made it.  I was happy and excited and at peace, but then somehow, that all changed this week and I'm back to second guessing.  So I guess my question is, how do you make your decision when you know you'll have mixed emotions no matter which way you decide? It's really taken a lot out of me, so I've been trying really hard to find peace in the little everyday moments.  I've always loved watching the sunset, ever since I can remember.  There's just something otherworldly about watching the way the sun paints the sky as it sinks down over the horizon.  In more recent years, whenever I need a moment of peace from the chaos of the day or stress of life, I always...

So much for snowmageddon eh?  I think being a meteorologist is probably the one job that has the most job security....because it seems it doesn't matter how wrong you are, you can just blame it on the weather being super unpredictable.  Interesting how that works.  And while I'm not a fan of winter, I would like one of the major snow falls that we used to get when I was little.  There's just something cozy about being snowed in.  Unless your power goes out like ours did today.  Then I'm glad snowmageddon didn't happen, although snuggling in your bed to stay warm does make for the perfect nap.  And no one can judge you because it's too dark to do anything, but even if they do judge you, who cares?  I am a firm believer in naps. But before the power outage, my breakfast of crumb cake was thoroughly enjoyed.  It was so incredibly delicious, and it actually reminded me of the old-fashioned crumb cake that Starbucks used to serve.  If I ...

Saturdays are great for two things: 1.) Laying in bed all day reading books while drinking coffee and snuggling with your dog. 2.) Getting things done. I usually like to spend my days in the first category because let's face it, it's winter and I really try not to go outside unless I absolutely have to.  I really don't understand why I live in a state where the weather hurts my face when the wind blows. Also, there's just something about the cold weather that makes spending a day with a book that much better, but even though I read all the time, I still feel like it's never enough.  But mostly, snuggling with my dog is my most favorite past-time....and I think I have separation anxiety if I'm away from him for too long to be quite honest.  Like I said, Saturdays are great for two things, and while I typically save the second category of Saturdays for more of the Spring/Summer months when it's actually bearable to be outside, today was the latter, ...

When I was little, I had this baby sitter whom my brother and I called Grandma Betty.  She wasn't our actual grandma, but because she also watched her grandkids and that's what they called her, we just joined in the fun.  In all the time that she watched us, she never drove. Whether or not that's because she never learned or she didn't like it, I never knew; but she never let that stop her from taking us on special outings.  Probably one of my earliest memories, I remember she would gather us up and we would take the bus downtown and she would get us lunch at Subby's (cookie included) and then we used to walk around, always taking the time to stop in front of  The Victoria Theater.  While taking dance classes growing up, I always looked forward to those trips because that was my favorite stop.  But I always remember the bustle and noise and thought how cool downtown was.   Throughout middle and high school, the economy declined and downtown seemed...