Healthy Body. Healthy Mind. Healthy Soul.

Eight months is a long time to be away.  I've never liked making resolutions.  Resolutions means that you are aiming to resolve something wrong with you and there is nothing wrong with you.  So instead, I've decided to make new goals this year.  The past year and a half, I've been striving to make my life the happiest and healthiest I've ever been.  I did really well for a year, but I was focused on only the physical aspect.  What I have failed to realize is that mental health is just as important.  I've never been one to show my emotions or feelings.  It makes me feel uncomfortable so I've always "suffered in silence" if you will.  Even typing this now is hard on me.  I think it's because I never want to burden anyone and my problems always seem so small in comparison to other people.  So I've always pushed my feelings and thoughts aside and suppressed what I was feeling and tell myself that it didn't happen or I'm making a big deal out of nothing.  But that's part of being human, we all feel things...some deeper than others.  I've been dealing with some really personal issues the past few months, and it's one of the hardest things I've had to deal with.  Not dealing with it and constant trying not to acknowledge it however proved to be terrible for my physical health and all the progress I had made went out the window.  Once I finally acknowledge the issue I've noticed things have started to turn around, although at times it seems to be at a glacial pace.  So my goals this year are to not only be as physically healthy as possible, but also as mentally healthy as possible.  Healthy Body. Healthy Mind. Healthy Soul.  I've decided to start using this as a means to put down my thoughts and what I'm feeling whether elated or dejected.  I don't know how often I'll post, but I've decided it's time for me to really start taking care of myself and I can't think of a better way than using this as an outlet for whatever I'm feeling.

The past few days have been really hard for me.  One of my dearest friends from high school lost his brother this past weekend and it has really messed me up.  My heart breaks for Tommy and his family and I wish I had gone out of my way more to talk to him more and really get to know him.  I remember after Tommy  came back from Kairos retreat his Senior year in high school, Rob had read the letter I wrote to Tommy and said that he thought it was sweet and was jealous, that he wished someone wrote a letter like that for him.  I didn't know him really well, but I know Tommy and his parents, and I know Rob was and incredible man with a gracious heart.  He was always quick to give a friendly hello or a wave and a smile. I know he was loved so deeply by his family and friends and I wish that he could see just how much he is loved.  Sometimes people feel that life gets to be too much and I wish I had noticed or that he felt he could have spoken to me.   I know life can be hard, but it is a beautiful journey.  There is so much to experience and see in this world, and you are a vital part to this life and this world.  I will always be there for anyone who ever needs me.  Whether we're friends or have lost touch, family or only met once, no matter the circumstance, know that there is always someone here for you.  Always.